Archive for September, 2009

Would You Like A Side Of Entitlement With That?

September 29th, 2009

There are some things I will never ever understand and or get use to. And I hope I never do get use to them. Days like my last 5 days, I wonder why on earth I bother doing what I do. Everyone wants a little piece of whatever and when I give them what I can, it is not good enough and they complain. There has been many instances the past few days concerning many different things, but there is one major one that has me the most pissed.

And to make it even worse, they do it behind my back and act like bloody trolls. I spend 10+ hours out of my FREE TIME to make available things I do not have to. This is my time and I choose to give it to others. I am even nice enough to take the time to explain this. To tell them you know, if you don’t want to hear a conversation or put up with some blips, maybe you will not want to listen. You would think they would be thankful that it was made available because I could say “You don’t tune in, you don’t get to listen. Suck it up and next time… Well maybe there won’t be a next time you ungrateful gits!”

To make it worse, I have to hear about it through other channels. They don’t even have the balls to say a damn thing to my face. They just complain that they should be getting more. And then when someone offers to clean it up a bit, that isn’t even good enough because again, they want more and fuck that the more they want breaks a million and one copyright laws. No, that doesn’t matter.

I am not your fucking dancing monkey. Others are not your fucking dancing monkeys. You are not entitled to a damn thing from me or anyone else. I do this out of generosity. Just because it can be made available doesn’t mean I have to. I even give permission to share it, which I do not have to because I own the damn copyright! Shut your damn pie hole or at least have the balls to say it to my face instead of behind my back in a forum that I cannot even reply to so that I can tell you to your face to shut your damn pie hole! At least here, it is open and I will not censor my comments or the comments of others who choose to reply, good or bad.

/rant

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Posted in internet, media, personal, radio

Think Before Giving Into Fear

September 28th, 2009

I am so angry right now I can’t think straight. I am also so upset and sad right now I can’t stop crying. I am so disappointed right now in the different Canadian health authorities. I am so disappointed in those who’s jobs it is to protect families like mine. I am so disappointed in a government that is normally so pro vaccine and even has ad campaigns promoting immunization. They have dropped the ball. They are now causing fear and panic over a supposed research paper they even haven’t read yet because the authors claim they cannot release it as they have submitted it to some science journal and have to wait until publication in said journal before the results can be released.

What this report is claiming is that getting the normal flu vaccine is dangerous and it increases your risks of getting the H1N1 virus. Now other countries have done the same studies and their published findings say that there is no increased risk. But what does our government do? It decided to hold off on the flu vaccine despite the fact THEY HAVE SEEN NO PROOF that the flu vaccine increased the risk of getting H1N1. 5 different provinces have now changed their normal fall flu vaccine campaign based on alleged findings. Does this seem logical to you? No it is not! What this will do is make those who are antivax scream louder and say “HA we told you so! Vaccines are dangerous, m’kay?”

Now why does this have me so upset that I cannot stop crying? Because unlike you normal healthy people, this can kill me. This fear and ignorance is a threat to my life. I rely on others to be vaccinated from things as simple as “just the flu” to keep me alive. This means that this Winter I will probably get to enjoy at least 2 months in reverse quarantine because something as simple as the flu can kill me. I have Lupus and there is no such thing as a simple virus to me.

And people wonder why I get so upset when people are so ignorant when it comes to doing their part to keep everyone safe and healthy. I do not want to ever have to hear Kid1 ask me “mom are you going to die… and don’t lie” again. Now if the flu or cold can kill me, what do you think the other things that vaccinations help prevent will do to me?

I am not the only one who has to worry about things as simple as the flu either. There are millions more like me. And a lot of us cannot be vaccinated because it is contraindicated for health reasons. Another example of why this has me in tears at the moment is this. There is a little boy at Kid2′s school that had to have a heart transplant when he was a baby. He is on immuno-suppressants for the rest of his life, like me, so that his heart does not get rejected. He also relies on other people to be responsible when it comes to health.

When I had H1N1, even so Kid2 was fine, the health authority had to go into their school and remove every piece of furniture from Kid2′s room and the other boy’s room and completely disinfect everything. A notice has gone home to all the parents stating that there are two families with chronic health problems where something as simple as the cold poses a serious health risk. If your child is showing any symptoms of illness, please keep them home until they are symptom free for 24 hours. Kid2 had a cold and I of course kept him home as I understand the seriousness of this situation better than anyone else. But do you think other parents are going to do the same? Somehow I doubt it.

I am so angry and upset right now. I cannot believe those who are in charge of keeping the general population healthy, of protecting babies and the elderly, of protecting those of us with compromised immune systems are doing this. Do they not understand how much fear and panic this has the potential to cause? Do they not understand how much louder people who say, “I never got the flu until I got my flu shot” are going to claim that flu shot is bad and people should have listened? Do they just don’t care?

Think before giving into fear. My life and millions of others literally depend on it.

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Posted in antiscience, antivaxx, children, chronic illness, family, Lupus, personal, science, vaccination, vaccine, vaccines

Walking In My Footsteps

September 24th, 2009

I have written before that when I was younger I use to play a lot of make believe. When my friends and I played “Transformers”, “G.I. Joe”, “Justice League”, army etc., we did not play those games using toys. We would run around the neighbourhood and be those characters. We took RPG off of the page and into our environment.

Kid2 is now doing the same with his friends. He is home sick from school this week and he just told me the most awesome story.

They have created a fantasy-type RPG for the entire neighbourhood. One of the basic rules is you do not get to pick your race. Your race is chosen for you depending on which street you live on. Another rule is once you are Level 1, you need to kill 5 people to level up. Once you reach Level 2, you need to kill 10 people, Level 3 = 15 kills, Level 4 = 20 kills, etc. Once you reach Level 80, your character becomes a guardian of the newbies. Your role becomes the protector of the n00bs from other races.

If you are a Human (this is Kids2′s race) the classes you can be are: Barbarian, Rogue, Wizard and Blade Master. Kid2 has two characters: Human Barbarian and Human Rogue. If you are a Gnome, the classes you can be are: Wizard, Warrior, Druid and Shaman. If you are a Dwarf, the classes you can be are: Miner, Healer, Paladin and Hunter. If you are an Elf, the classes you can be are: Druid, Hunter, Warrior, and Wizard. If you are an Orc, the classes you can be are: Hunter, Warrior, Blade Master and Barbarian. If you an Undead, the classes you can be are: Wizard, Rogue, Hunter and Blade Master. If you are Goblin, the classes you can be are: Rogue, Hunter, Blade Master and Shaman. If you are a Half Wolf /Half Human, the classes you can be are: Wizard, Warrior, Blade Master and Shaman. If you are a Troll, the classes you can be are: Shaman, Wizard, Warrior and Rogue. If you are Tauren, the classes you can be are: Hunter, Barbarian, Warrior and Shaman.

Depending on class, you start of with a specific weapon which the player fashions themself. An example is if you are a Barbarian, you start off with a club. Basic game play is that you start off with basic clothes and weapons. There are quests that each of the players makes up. You need to talk to the other players to find out how to proceed throughout the game and level up according to the rules laid out by that player in order to  finish your quest. The player also has the ability to free play and kill monsters to level up. You can join groups and guilds, create your own guild and explore the whole entire world (AKA neighbourhood even so Kid2 states that eventually he and his friends are going to map the entire world and assign races to each street) in order to create and develop your character.

They have not created character sheets for this. They do this on an honour system and trust that everyone is playing the game fairly.

I think it is just beyond cool that Kid2 has herded his friends together and has brought the love of gaming to the outdoors.

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Posted in children, family, gaming, geek, personal

Is It Really Friday?

September 18th, 2009

I have been really lax the past few weeks when it comes to updating my blog. There are many reasons for this: I was away for 2 weeks in August; I am sick; I have been working on my book which I am happy to report is being completed much quicker than I thought it would be. Turns out that I had more of it written that I had thought.

This week has been a very emotional week for me for many reasons. It has been a roller-coaster between many moments of surrealism and “Wow, I can’t believe this is my life” to moments of fear and panic as my book gets closer and closer to being ready to go to the printers.

One of my followers on twitter asked me why I am so terrified of publishing this book as I am on the radio, and tweet and blog personal things. The answer is really simple. The radio is a fleeting moment in time. Tweets and blogs can be erased. This book will be in a permanent print form available for the whole world to see.

And to be honest, this scares me. One on one, I am an open book and will share anything. This book is not one on one and once it goes to the printers and becomes available, I will lose control over how some very personal information about me is distributed. On one hand this excites me as I feel I have a very important message to share. Then when I really think about it, I feel as if I am going to vomit. There is a small part of me that feels I am about to do something pretty awesome. This may be the most important thing I do aside from being a mother. This part needs to be the loudest voice in my head at the moment so that I do not chicken out yet again and not publish.

But it is now beyond the point of no return. The word is out there and all that is left is for me to receive the cover and off it goes. Earlier today I received the sales copy for my book. When I read it, it brought tears to my eyes. I am going to take time right now to once again thank Chris Knight for all of his support as I go through this process. Without him, I do not think I would have found the personal courage to continue through this process. Besides providing emotional support he also proofread my manuscript and wrote the following sale copy.

“Julia Sherred’s From the Mundane to the Insane is the touching tale of one woman’s love of life and hope for the future despite overwhelming challenges. Written as a love letter to her two children in an intimate, conversational tone, Sherred explores the contours of her fascinating life as a dancer, actor, daughter, mother, and Lupus sufferer. It is a tender and humorous celebration of life and family, of creativity and geeky obsessions, and is an inspiration and invitation for each of us to grab life by the horns and truly enjoy every aspect of our wonderful journey without destination.

One dollar of each sale is donated to the scientific search for the treatment and cure for Lupus.”

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Posted in children, chronic illness, family, geek, humour, Lupus, politics

In Which A Book Materializes

September 12th, 2009

So I am doing it. After many years of talking about it and thinking about it and starting and stopping, I am actually going to do it. Hopefully it will be put together in the next 6 months. The reasons for doing this are completely selfish but as with anything I put out in public (either here on my blog, on my Geeky Pleasures site or my radio show) I do it because I like it. I do not do it for other people’s approval. If people choose to enjoy it with me that is awesome and I so appreciate it so please do not get me wrong there. And it always suprises me when I find out people enjoy the crap I put out. Thank you for allowing me to share with you and taking this life journey with me.

What is this book? Please read the introduction below. The working title of the book (it may change) is From the Mundane to the Insane: A Wonderful Journey Without A Destination.

Inspiration comes in waves. Sometimes it can come from moments of joy. For me, some of my greatest moments of inspiration come from moments of sadness. Tonight is one of those moments.
Over the years, I have been told many times I should right a book. The reason for this is because I have inspired many and they feel my story would inspire many others and give them hope. The inspiration I have brought to those who know me come from places of sadness as well. This inspiration comes from the many struggles and adversities I have overcome in my life: how I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, lived on the streets, was placed in foster care, survived a very abusive marriage, battled lupus, survived a stroke, raised two children on my own and even so I had moments of rage, I never let it get me down. I have always kept an upbeat attitude. I have done some pretty awesome things with my life that some only dream about. I have lived my life with the motto there is always someone who is worse off than me. And if I can show even just one person they can go through shit and still go on to do great things no matter what odds are stacked against them, then my life meant something.
So I decided years ago I would write a book. I have started and stopped more times than I can count because I never knew what I was going to write. What I did know was that it would be a series of short stories. I have notepad upon notepad, word file upon word file of these short stories but nothing I thought book or publication worthy.
Then tonight it happened. I had one of the hardest conversations ever with my oldest that brought me to tears for hours. As a result, I know what I am going to write. This book will be primarily for my children. Because I have lupus, I will be lucky to see 60 unless there are some drastic changes to the treatment of lupus. I want my children to have something, that heaven forbid I die soon rather than later, they can remember me by. I want them to have something permanent which shows them who their mother was (the good and the bad, the happy and the sad) and how much she loved them. Something they can carry with them forever and ever and remember always always. And maybe just maybe in the process I will be able to touch others.
Inside these pages you will find writings from many sources. Some from my various blogs, some from poetry that I have never published and some stories that I will create as I go through this process. If you are reading this book, I want to thank you in advance for taking this journey with me and my children.
Julia “Jules” Sherred
September 12, 2009
Duncan, BC

Inspiration comes in waves. Sometimes it can come from moments of joy. For me, some of my greatest moments of inspiration come from moments of sadness. Tonight is one of those moments.

Over the years, I have been told many times I should write a book. The reason for this is because I have inspired many and they feel my story would inspire many others and give them hope. The inspiration I have brought to those who know me come from places of sadness as well. This inspiration comes from the many struggles and adversities I have overcome in my life: how I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, lived on the streets, was placed in foster care, survived a very abusive marriage, battled lupus, survived a stroke, raised two children on my own and even so I had moments of rage, I never let it get me down. I have always kept an upbeat attitude. I have done some pretty awesome things with my life that some only dream about. I have lived my life with the motto there is always someone who is worse off than me. And if I can show even just one person they can go through shit and still go on to do great things no matter what odds are stacked against them, then my life meant something.

So I decided years ago I would write a book. I have started and stopped more times than I can count because I never knew what I was going to write. What I did know was that it would be a series of short stories. I have notepad upon notepad, word file upon word file of these short stories but nothing I thought book or publication worthy.

Then tonight it happened. I had one of the hardest conversations ever with my oldest that brought me to tears for hours. As a result, I know what I am going to write. This book will be primarily for my children. Because I have lupus, I will be lucky to see 60 unless there are some drastic changes to the treatment of lupus. I want my children to have something, that heaven forbid I die sooner rather than later, they can remember me by. I want them to have something permanent which shows them who their mother was (the good and the bad, the happy and the sad) and how much she loved them. Something they can carry with them forever and ever and remember always always. And maybe just maybe in the process I will be able to touch others.

Inside these pages you will find writings from many sources. Some from my various blogs, some from poetry that I have never published and some stories that I will create as I go through this process. If you are reading this book, I want to thank you in advance for taking this journey with me and my children.

Julia “Jules” Sherred

September 12, 2009

Duncan, BC

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Posted in family, personal

Raging Against Lupus

September 12th, 2009

Dear Lupus,

Lupus I hate you! And not because you are ravaging my body but because you are destroying my children! I am currently in tears because my children are in constant fear that you are going to kill me and I was just served with a quick reminder of this.

My children have still not recovered from the emotional trauma they endured when I had my stroke three years ago. Thanks to you, my non-existing immune system and being on immuno-suppressants, I contracted the dreaded H1N1. A lot of people may think “it’s just the flu” and no big deal, but for me it is. And for my children, it is even a bigger deal. Thank bob, the doctors diagnosed me early enough and I was put on Tamiflu. However, this does not put my children’s fears to rest.

It breaks my heart to no end (after I tried very hard for my oldest to not find out I have H1N1 but due to the lovely thing called the internet, he found out while he was at his dad’s) when I receive the following email from Kid1:

Kid1: um u have the swine flu

Me: yes I do

Kid1: um will u live?…dont lie…

Me: I should live hun. They have me on heavy duty meds to treat it. Try not to worry too much.

I love you

Kid1: no freekin duh im going to worry u have like no immune system and ur my mother..i love u to

Me: Well I should be okay. They were able to get me the medication in time. I just have to rest more than the normal person and have to stay quarantined longer

I should not be having these conversations with my 14 year old! It breaks my heart and I cannot stop crying because of it. Please just go away! I cannot wait for the day when they come closer to approving new medications to shoot you dead. You are ruining my children’s lives. Did I tell you I hate you because of it?

With much loathing,

Jules

(Please read the following post I wrote regardling living with lupus” Putting A Face To Lupus: The Elephant In The Room http://juliasherred.com/blog/2009/07/putting-a-face-to-lupus-the-elephant-in-the-room/ There are other posts regarding lupus as well that you can find in the lupus catagory if you are interested)

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Posted in children, chronic illness, family, Lupus, personal

PAX Recap

September 9th, 2009

Let me try and make this short and sweet since a lot of what I did at PAX will either be covered on my radio show over the next few weeks or my site.

For those of you who are familiar with the one with the orange, you will find the following amusing. I think “they” knew I was coming back into the states. About 30 minutes before hitting the border on the way down, the bus driver announced over the speakers:

“It is very important that you fill out a proper declaration form regardless if you are an American citizen or not. Also it is very important to declare, even if it is just 1, all ORANGES, apples, bananas, peaches, pears, cherries or any other fruits or vegetables you may have on you.”

5 minutes before crossing the border, he warned us once more about the importance of declaring ORANGES, apples, bananas etc etc.

PAX itself was just super crazy and I am still trying to remember all that I did. Thank bob for handy dandy voice recorders to keep track of all my interviews.

Coming back into Canada today was very uneventful. Or so I thought until it was time to board th ferry.  The bus gets front of queue. The bus driver went to fire up the bus’ engine to load us onto the ferry and the bus won’t start.  He tried to start the bus for 5 minutes while all the vehicles are waiting behind us, only to hear very loud buzzing noises.  We are told to get off the bus and wait until the next bus comes for the next ferry in 2 hours.

I almost cried and told the wonderful people at BC Ferries and Greyhound this will not do! I have children that will be home from school in a couple of hours and my childcare left first thing this morning once they left for school.  I nearly had a melt down.  You should have seen their poor faces as I went off.

So they told us to grab our luggage and walk on the ferry and they will contact Greyhound on the island to see what arrangements can be made. I thought to myself, oh you will make arrangements all right if you know what is best for you!

Just in case they didn’t make arrangements, the other passengers and myself discussed splitting cab fare to get to the Greyhound terminal in Nanaimo just to be safe.  But half way through the sailing to the island, we got the wonderful announcement that a shuttle will be waiting for us on the other site to take us to the depot.

On top of all of this, ever since I woke up yesterday I have not been feeling well. I have slept most of the last two days, sore chest, cough, runny nose, fever, swollen glands, kidney pain, diarrhea and a bunch of other symptoms. I had been hoping it was just lupus fatigue and I was not among the hundred of people who attended PAX and contracted the H1N1 virus.

I decided I should phone my doctors office and ask them what I should do. They told me to get my butt down there ASAP. And so I did, hoping they were just being extra cautious. Well this hope turned south. After an examination and a swab being stuck so far in my nose it went down my throat, I have been placed under quarantine for at least 2 weeks and given a prescription for Tamiflu and a diagnosis of probably H1N1. It is not completely confirmed, however due to the fact I have lupus and I am on immuno-suppressants, I am showing all the symptoms and over 100 confirmed cases, they are treated me as if it is since you can only start treatment within the first 48 hours of symptom onset and putting off treatment could be fatal for me.

My worst fear regarding attending PAX came true. I suppose sooner or later traveling with my medical condition would catch up to me. And despite the doctor’s office and health authority urging me not to go again next year and those same huge fears cropping up yet again about contracting something that for most is “nothing but the flu”, but for me is possibly life threatening, I will most likely still attend PAX next year. After all, you only live once and what is the point if you don’t make the best out of it that you can.

PAX and PAX people are awesomesauce and full of win!

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Posted in Lupus, PAX2009, Penny Arcade Expo, personal