In Which I'm Antsy And Excited

May 7th, 2010 by Jules Leave a reply »

What a freaking crazy week! I don’t even know where to begin. And the crazy isn’t over yet. I have a feeling I will not have enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to get done this weekend. Submission deadline for my World Lupus Day project is tomorrow and despite over 100 people saying they will do something, I have yet to receive much.

Then add to this that I am currently experiencing one of the worst flares I have experienced in a while, a cold and stomach bug, a happy Jules is not a well Jules in any sense of the word. To say I was ill would be quite the understatement. I wish I had a dark corner that I could crawl into and sleep for eons if that is what it took to feel slightly more human. The way I’m feeling at the moment, it feels that it would take forever and a day to feel better again.

And then there is the song. But OMG YAY, I managed to get my vocals recorded and in 3 takes. And let me tell you, that was quite the trial. I can’t count how many tears were shed out of frustration. To begin with, I haven’t sung in at least 3 years. Nothing more than humming around the house and maybe quietly singing a line or two. Nobody has heard me sing in quite a long time. Then add a cold which leads to a sore/hoarse/laryngitis throat/voice… it is not a nice mix or sound at all. As well, I was afraid that I would have to sing sections of it at a time, over and over again, and then piece it together to create a final track. But nope. I managed to sing it straight through and in a pretty consistent fashion without it sounding atrocious. There really isn’t too much that needs to be done with the vocals besides EQ and cleaning up the noise and a few other small things. Or at least, that is what I think. Also, my pain levels are at a 8.5-10. I had to sit to sing as at the moment I am not capable of standing for more than 30 seconds without the pain becoming intolerable.

I have a whole new appreciation for those who participate in Song Fu. I kinda co-wrote this song and I still had quite the difficult time learning it. I received the very first draft of the song last Friday, made changes over the weekend, received the changes, tried working with the new music and couldn’t wrap my brain around it it, asked for more changes, learned the changes really would not work after trying to work with them, went back to the second incarnation and really listened to it to hear where exactly it wasn’t working for me, made some changes, moved around and edited some of the music, and sent the changes back to Denise and then attempted to bang out the vocals in one day. Okay now that I actually listed this process and I realized that I’ve only had the basic demo music for not even 2 full days, I think I’m even more impressed with what I’ve accomplished especially consider I don’t write music/songs, haven’t used my vocal chords besides talking in years and am extremely ill.

Now, it still isn’t perfect. Far from it. It isn’t any where near close to the caliber I was once capable of. However, considering I only worked with the music in its current form for maybe 5 hours total, sang the song maybe 10 times, am ill, it is passable. I do not hate the results. That is something. Especially considering I am a huge perfectionist and my own worst critic. And after listening to the finished demo with my vocals for the past hour, I still don’t hate it. I still think it is passable. I am actually smiling when I listen to it. I don’t want to go as far as saying I like it but I am satisfied, considering. And despite me cringing every time I hear my mistakes (they are extremely loud to me), I still feel it is passable. If you knew me, you would understand that is actually a pretty major thing for me say.

And now the above is in the wonderful hands of Denise for her to clean up a huge amount of noise on my tracks and add some other touches including her own vocals. Oh yes, aside from the above obstacles, my sound card has been acting up as well. If there wasn’t a lot of white noise (I don’t understand why all of a sudden) there were a couple quick demos recording for the first couple incarnations where the sound was quite distorted. Hopefully the white noise can be removed adequately without distorting the sound.

I’m antsy and excited to hear the finished product. I will either have it late tonight or tomorrow at some point. I am also antsy and excited to see and hear what else comes in for this project. And hopefully I make it through this weekend intact and Monday’s launch be a success. I’m also worried that everyone who said they’d do something won’t come through. I get that way when people cut it close to deadlines. I always finish well ahead of deadlines and I have a hard time dealing with people who wait til last minute. It causes me anxiety. However, if every one does not come through, at least I will have some material. And hopefully, next year it will be bigger and more successful as it won’t be such a last minute idea.

Phew. Must. Remember. To. Breathe!

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