It Really Is All My Fault

May 29th, 2010 by Jules Leave a reply »

I love my kids. I love them to bits and pieces. And not only do I love them but I actually like who they are as people. But there are days where I look up in exasperation and think, “why me?!?” I should never have named them and given them an identity. I should never have taught them to speak, never mind teach them how to speak for themselves and speak their minds. I should never had taught them to tell me anything and that I may not always approve but I will never love them any less. (Even so I am whining right now, in all honesty I wouldn’t change it for a thing.)

The last 2 days have been filled with many moments of laughter at the crazy things they say to me and many moments of “WTF!?! No parent wants to hear this stuff! LA LA LA LA I can’t hear you!” I will even turn to them and say, “DUDE! Really! Oh dear GOD! Why did you have to tell me that?” Only for them to smile and walk away. And even so part of me is serious, there is a bigger part that says, “Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life even though the pod people have taken you and you are NUTS! THANK YOU for not shutting me out and not being afraid to tell me ANYTHING.” And I really mean, anything. They don’t hold back.

The last two days have been a long series of “that’s what she said”s. My youngest realizing just how dirty the word “geekasm” is and what it eludes to and a long conversation about how it could be wrong that we shared one together. My youngest telling me “You know what, mom. If a girl ever asks me what my favourite planet is, I’m gonna tell her Uranus. Isn’t that funny? Yeah, Uranus. I can’t wait to see her reaction. Now I just hope a girl asks me what my favourite planet is.” Ah man, there are a lot of other things but I think my brain has blocked it out of existence in an effort to preserve what little sanity I have left.

But this also leads to some pretty cool moments of sharing. My oldest just played one of the best jokes on my youngest. He took him outside under the guise of showing him a magic trick. They searched the neighbourhood for a seeded dandelion as it was part of this. The trick goes: 1) You tell someone to hide a leaf on their body. 2) Once the leaf is hidden, you tell them that the dandelion is going to detect where the leaf is. 3) You “scan” their body (as if going through airport security) with the dandelion while making beeping noises. 4) You tell them to open their mouth so that you can do a full body scan. 5) You shove the seeded dandelion in their mouth.

When they returned home, Kid1 told me what he had done to his brother so that his brother couldn’t attempt it on me. The practical joker inside of me howled but the mother, while trying to suppress a laugh, had to tell him, “That’s mean!” He had told me that his brothers reaction was, “Dude! That’s awesome! I can’t wait to do that to someone esle!” as he was spitting out bits of dandelion. Then once his brother left the room, he informed me of another joke he is going to pull on his brother. This joke involves my help. I have to say, it is pretty mean and pretty damn awesome and I can’t wait!

So, yeah. It really is my fault. I tell them to be themselves. I tell them to stand up for what they believe in. I tell them that if an authority figure is abusing their power, do something about it. I introduce them to all kinds of things that are a little bit off. I treat them like real people. I tell them that they can come to me and tell me anything. And so they do. At least when they are adults, they have a solid self-assured foundation. But man oh man, my house is rather insane at times and there are days that my head wants to explode due to TMI.

I really wouldn’t change it for a thing.

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