Hey, Americans! Get Your Heads Out of Your Bloody Arses!

November 8th, 2010 by Jules Leave a reply »

I’m livid! Like really livid. Shaking in fact. I just had yet another experience which caused me to think, “This is why the world hates you, America! Your Americentrism is not doing you any favours! Wake the hell up and smell the rest of the world! You’ve been attacked? So what?? Do you think you are the only ones? Have you ever stopped for a second to think why? Do you realize you are far from perfect?? Seriously, because I do not understand why you feel you have a monopoly on horrible happenings.”

I am full to the brim with venom at the moment. The above is the really nice version of what I am thinking. Because HEAVEN FORBID that someone point out the attacks against Americans may have been asked for since they’ve been attacking and imposing their far from ideal way of life upon the world for AGES! It is about bloody time the world stood up to this messed up way of life and say, “We will not let you bully us any longer! You push the world around long enough, it will push back! You reap what you sow!”

If you are still reading this blog and are managing to wade through the venom that is being directed towards this attitude Americans have which they spew towards the rest of the world and expect us to just take it up the arse, you may be wondering what has spawned it. A stupid song writing competition, of all things, has me shaking with anger. A song writing contest?!? Jules you let a stupid song writing contest get you angry? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU JULES?!? I’ll tell you.

The challenge for this round was to write a song from the point of view of some behind the scenes person to some big historical figure. So we had songs about some unknown person behind Castro, JFK, Columbine, Los Alamos and Rosa Parks. With the Castro song, it was some barber responsible for the missile crisis. With the JFK song, it was from the point of view of the driver. With the Columbine shooter, from the point of view of Eric’s mother. With Los Alamos, the point of view of one of the lab assistants. A few of the songs needed some clarification for the non-Americans. And when it was asked for clarification, we were met with a bit of venom like, “How dare you not know!”, but in a totally passive-aggressive way. Hey Americans, can you tell me anything about my history? Hell, I doubt most of you can tell me who my PM is without having to search it.

And then came comments of, “Wow. These songs are edgy and risky.” The first one came during the Castro song because it is a bit of a farce. It is a serious topic brought forth in a very lighthearted way. Some did not know if it was all that funny to joke about the fact the US was almost nuked. OOO Edgy. As more of these “touchy subject”, “edgy”, “sensitive topic”, “not politically correct” songs came out, there were more comments about pushing the envelope with subject choices and how brave it was to do so. So of course the non-American’s asked, “Why? We don’t see how. Explain it to us. History is painted in blood.” With contempt, it was explained that people still find talking about the assassination of JFK to be touchy. This caused me to think, “Would they think the same thing if it were a song about Canada’s bloody history or the UK’s or any other part of the world?” My question would shortly be answered.

Joe and Denise entered a shadow song from Duality about one of the bloodiest period of Scottish history. Joe wrote the lyrics. He approached it much from the same angle as the Castro song. The response? What do you think? IT WAS A HOOT! A HOOT!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? So let me make sure I understand this correctly? It is okay to present a very dark part of Scottish history with levity but not American history? It is okay to laugh at other people’s history but if you someone does it about American history, it is “edgy”? Really? Give your head a shake!

And yet you still wonder why the world hates America? When it was first mentioned to build a wall between Canada and the US, my thought was, “Give me a break.” Now I think, “PLEASE DO!” Please  continue to alienate the rest of the world. I’m so sick and tired of this double standard! If you want people to be respectful of your dark periods, try being respectful of others. Oh wait… our dark history is A HOOT! Yours is to be revered and grieved forever, never to be talked about or never to get over. Your history is to be repeated over and over again because you refuse to talk about it and move on!

Get your heads out of your bloody arses, open your eyes and see there is a HUGE world outside of the United States!



  1. Hazen Nester says:

    You know, you’re right. I don’t know off-hand who Canada’s Prime Minister is. And I should. Quite frankly, I’m sick of American arrogance as well. On another note, that kinda came across as a bit harsh. It almost makes me want to defend the unwashed masses. Almost.

    • Jules says:

      Harsh, yes. But I get the same on almost a daily basis and I’m quite sick of it. If it helps any, this is my “nice” version. All of my thoughts are even more venomous. I always tell people for as nice as I am, I am equally harsh. Nobody seems to buy it 😛

      I’m really tired of hearing from America that I should care about its history when it can’t be bothered to care about mine. Every one has horrible things in their history. It isn’t just an American thing.

      • Hazen Nester says:

        Coming to work today, I was reminded of a great quote which may explain your frustration:

        “What did you expect? Welcome, sonny’? ‘Make yourself at home’? ‘Marry my daughter’? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”

        –Jim, “The Waco Kid;” “Blazing Saddles” (1974, Dir. M. Brooks)

  2. Kylie says:

    Well holy hell. If this isn’t a lovely little piece of hypocrisy, I don’t know what is. If I’d not have already known better, I’d have thought this was posted by a 4chan troll. First off all, your generalization of an entire nation of people based upon the stereotypical radical collection of US citizens that already make idiots enough of our whole damn country is positively disgusting and has, to be quite honest, greatly lowered my opinion of you. I can respect that you were slightly offended to have people expect you to know American culture and such and to greet you harshly upon finding otherwise. I have to say that I’d feel the same if it was done to me. But to sit and not only insult an entire nation of people based on the actions of only a fraction of said nation, but also to criticize the integrity of the contestants’ songs is absolutely repulsive. Forgive us that to us subjects like Columbine and JFK’s assassination are touchy and upsetting. God forbid that we have an emotional reaction to tragedies from our past. Your complaint on Duality’s song is upsetting, strictly for the reason that it was a HUMOROUS song. No one sat and said that the fact that the event was so blood and horrid was a hoot. They said that the way Duality portrayed it was. Take things however you want to, whatever, but don’t expect people not to call you out on it when you post it to the public. Making offensive declarations will only lead to more offenses given and taken on both sides. So why don’t you hop off your high ass horse and learn some humility and tact? We’re all at fault for not understanding each other better. Everyone. Not a single nation. Not a single a person. The sooner people like you get a grasp on that, the sooner problems like this will cease. However valid you may find your feelings to have been, you handled it in the wrong way. And for THAT reason you are no better than the double standard you raged about. Despite my disagreement with you, I wish you a good night and on the all, I don’t mean to be bitchy or give offense. As I said before, take things how you like.

    • Jules says:

      Kylie, I respect your opinion.

      I am not criticizing the songs in any way shape or form. I’m of the opinion (if you’ve been following the twitter chatter with other SpinTunes folk) these topics SHOULD be discussed. I don’t find the edgy, they are reality. Nothing more or less.

      My point, is the whole world has hurt. We all have our wounds and dark history. But America (I am not talking about individuals but this “ideal” that is shown to the rest of the world) would want us to think that what happens on her soil is the only pain that matters.

      Each country has had their own atrocities. But can you tell me anything about the things that have happened in Canada? We are your neighbours. If I ask you to tell me about the Canadian Holocaust/ Genocide, can you tell me about it? What about our own school shooting? If we question why these are touchy subject for you, we don’t get real dialogue. I wanted real understanding as to why these subjects hurt. I was told I should just know. Why should I just know when you don’t know about my own countries hurt?

      I have many Americans that I am proud to call friends. But the institute, well I have no pride in that. I have separated “country” from “individual”. This is not an attack on you as a person, but my anger at being told once again I should care about your history when you can’t be bothered with mine (and by you, I mean the country not you personally).

      I hope that clear that up.

      • Kylie says:

        I can agree quite sincerely with your dislike of the “institute” as you worded it. And the expression of separation of country and individual does clear up quite a bit of offense.

        The biggest point that I hoped to make is that we weren’t lessening the worth of your tragedies or anyone’s for that matter. Horrible things happen everywhere. And the subject isn’t touchy because of the country, but because of the emotions they stir in people. I don’t really think it matters which nation’s history it is, just the pain that came.

        Again, I hope that I didn’t offend you.

        • Jules says:

          No offense was taken at all. I’m just glad we were able to clear up any misunderstanding. This is a touchy subject. One that many are afraid to discuss. I’m not.

          As I just said on Twitter, I think maybe one of the biggest difference I personally see is when someone comments on the fucked up things Canada has done, I don’t take it as a personal offense. I’ll agree and point out all the horrible things our Country (as an institute) has done and in very recent history.

  3. Paul R. Potts says:

    Jules, I think I said some of these entries were “edgy” or “risky” and I feel like perhaps you misunderstood what I meant, so let me try to clarify.

    This competition was all about history. There are “safe” subjects in history and “safe” interpretations of various events. Writing about Rosa Parks is pretty safe because most people are pretty much on the same page about those events and their significance. (The truth is a little more complicated; she wasn’t a single solitary hero spontaneously starting a movement; it was a planned protest with a whole team of young people and clergy behind it, no one talks much about the others, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, but people don’t question the accepted narrative because it isn’t politically correct).

    I thought Travis’ song was a bit “edgy” because the _accepted_ narrative is that America’s decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki was justifiable and shortened the war and saved a lot of lives. The real story is much more complicated and that narrative isn’t true in most important respects, but it’s still considered pretty politically incorrect to challenge it.

    Making a mambo song about the Cuban Missile Crisis I thought was “risky” because it risks people just being totally puzzled by the tremendous clash in tone (a very serious event that could have easily led to nuclear war) versus the style of song. Will people accept that? But if it _works_, it’s funny as hell.

    It took me awhile to even realize that “Eric” was about Columbine, but once I got it, I was blown away. I don’t know what everyone else remembers about that, especially outside the country, but it changed the culture here and the way we think about schools. Keep in mind that Columbine wasn’t the first school shooting, it was actually only one of a whole string of them that had occurred over the course of a year or two and we Americans were getting REALLY freaked out by them. I’m not sure what the “narrative” was for everyone, but for me it had something to do with the UTTER failure of a whole community — the parents of those kids included. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a pretty f*’ed up village to turn children into mass murderers. Asking us to truly sympathize with the killer’s mother I did find to be a pretty risky songwriting choice to make, the “risk” being that listeners will just not be willing to go there and so will not give the song a fair shake.

    I also said at some point — trying to defend Joe for not knowing off the cuff who Rosa Parks was — something like “well, it’s only fair, I don’t know any heroes from Scotland’s Civil Rights movement,” or some words to that effect (I don’t have a transcript). I don’t think it is surprising that we don’t that know all that much about each other’s countries.

    Anyway, hope that might unpack/clarify a bit what I was thinking in the Listening Party…

    • Jules says:

      Thank you for that, Paul. It helps clear up a lot where you personally were coming from with your comments.

      But to point here as well (as I did so on Twitter) America is not the only country to have school shootings, as one example. We had our own a week after Columbine.

      But there seems to be a difference that we have accepted that our community played a huge role in that. Not every one excepts that fact. A lot of individuals still want to blame the boy who did the shootings and his parents. But as a country, we’ve moved passed it.

      And we do this with a million other horrible things that we have done as Canadians. Some wounds take longer to heal. Others, we learn from them and move forward.

      I’m just really tired of being told I *should* care when the person telling me so can tell me nothing about my countries wounds. The fact is, I do care. Like it or not, what happens in any country (not just America) affects the rest of the world. I just can’t stand to be told what I should or should not do when the same is not returned.

  4. Ali says:

    I know about nothing about anywhere outside of the United States, but I view it this way: should I know about other countries? That would definitely contribute to my well-roundedness and worldliness, as well as the ability to communicate with others outside of my country. Is it alright if I don’t? Yes, so long as I’m willing to accept your accounts or Joe’s accounts or anybody else’s accounts of events and take them with the same approach that I would take to an event in the US.

  5. Ian McL says:

    The USA is the large overweight kid who bullies everyone else in the classroom but is the first to cry at any grievance – real or imagined – and thinks it’s the only one who has suffered anything in any way.

    It’s appalling lack of any culture or historical / geographical perception is scary – a “World Series” that actually only includes itself? Isolationist and totalitarian with saccharin added.

    In the UK we have sandwiches older than the USA – and they’re still more palatable!

  6. Skepdude says:

    Hey Jules,

    I think you should not have addressed this entry not to “Americans” as that is in fact quite a generalization, but to “shitty Americans” in which case you’d have been fine in my eyes. Without that though it is quite a broad brush swipe at us all. Everyone responds emotionally the the issues that they care about the most; think about a person that has a chronic disease you might not know much about and if they said : “I’ll take Lupus any day over X”. Wouldn’t you have a similar emotional reaction towards that person, as the Americans in your case did to the things that touch them emotionally the most?

    On the other hand, I don’t know who’s demanding that you know about American history, but that is bullshit. The world doesn’t revolve around the US. Someone who doesn’t live in the US is under no obligation to know, or give a damn honestly , about what happens down here.

    • Jules says:

      I totally see your point and will agree. I should have made the title “Hey, America” as I was speaking more to the institute and not all individuals.